Non stress test

As I sit here hooked up to the “non stress test” machine, or NST for short, I can’t help but think how un non-stressful this is!

I’m at the end of my 5th and final pregnancy and feeling done! In every pregnancy my body hits a certain point and stops functioning gestationally…I have high risk pregnancies to begin with so everything gets wonkier…I’m thankful I know my body well enough to know when I’m almost done and the doctors follow me so closely that there’s almost nothing they don’t notice.

It makes me think even further to how closely our God watches over us! Even when we don’t feel like he’s there, he’s watching us so closely and if we trust in him and let him lead us his faithfulness is always sure! His heart is for us, just as my heart is for this baby! I’ve worked so hard to get this baby into the world, healthy and happy and I can’t imagine how much the heart of our Father in heaven is for us! It’s such an old and seemingly “normal” concept that he sent his only son to die for us but in truth…I’m bringing this baby into the world with all of my care and love and he sent his son for all of us so that we could live with him in eternity! What an amazing God we serve that he knew Jesus could take on the task and loves us so much it’s almost excruciating! For Jesus it WAS excruciating! But he lives! And he is preparing a place for us in heaven and we have access to the Fathers heart because of the care and the love…I’ve known this idea, this concept for my entire life-Jesus died for us so we could live free from sin (not to say we don’t sin! I do! But I have the freedom in forgiveness!) but in the process of my body being given in such a massive way to bring 4 babies into the world, and 1 in heaven, almost makes my brain explode in the revelation of the Father and not fully grasping how much He loves me! There is so much beauty in the process…so much simplicity in the exploding IDEA that he loves me (and you!!) so so much!!! Let that sink in…it doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what you have done that was bad….who you’ve become….that freedom was bought so very long ago with all of us in mind! So much longer before anyone of us did the things that make us feel unworthy! God knew humanity was full of sin and in need of a saviour and that’s why he sent Jesus. Now it’s up to us to receive it. Walk in it. Understand that we will never fully grasp all of the wonder and amazement he has in store for us…but if we never tap into it, how will you ever know? He made plans for us before we were ever born, do you believe that? What a revelation, even after 25+ years of hearing it over and over again! What a loving and faithful God!


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